I usually don’t write up response posts because I feel I don’t have the eloquence to say what needs to be said; however, a certain post written directly as a response to Britni’s attack pushed me over the edge.  Victim blaming unfortunately has become a popular sport not only amongst misogynist men, but also misogynist women.  Need examples?  Take a look over at the first post I linked to and scroll down to the comments.

Which leads us to why people choose to be victim-blaming idiots.  Why?  Because they want to feel they have control.  Nothing like what happened to Britni could ever happen to them, right?  They obviously aren’t “asking for it.”

I wrote about my own close encounters with sexual assault a while back and let me tell you, I, like Britni, was definitely not asking for it.  Why then did I have this happen to me?  Because there are douches everywhere.  No matter where you live, what class you come from, or how you dress, walk, or talk there will always be people waiting to take advantage of you and violate your bodily autonomy.  You’re sitting there reading this thinking, “Oh, well, I’m not going to go out and act like Britni.”  Well, great for you for not going out and having fun like a normal person, but you should know that the majority of sexual assaults are done by people you know and trust.  You are, my friend, at risk.

So let’s recap a little bit.  So we’ve established that:

  1. People can be victim-blaming douches
  2. Even those people are at risk for being sexually assaulted
  3. Even if you only go out with people you know, you are still at risk for being assaulted by a good friend

Considering all of these things, why is it that people feel the need to keep on blaming the victim?  Again, it’s about being in control and distancing themselves from the possibility of this happening to them.  Why do men* blame the victim?  They want to distance themselves from the attacker because they are also a man.

I’m really sick of victim-blaming sex bloggers.  You sit there and claim to be sex positive and you’re making yourself seem like the Tea Party or the “Miniskirt Judge” from Spain.  Quit claiming to be one thing and then being so obviously the other.

Britni, I’m sorry you had to go through this shit so soon (or ever really) after an assault.  I really respect you for staying so strong throughout this whole ordeal.

*heterosexual cis-men