Reviews
Review: Tantus Alumina Motion
Jul 18th
First things first – why the hell did I pass the Alumina line up for so long? I’ll tell you why: I’m an idiot. I, for some reason, heard the word aluminum and immediately thought “soda can.” I then assumed it would be easily dented, light and hollow like it’s cheap soda counterpart. Well, I was really wrong.
The Motion is heavy, streamlined and, for lack of a better phrase – plain fucking awesome. While it’s not Pure Wand heavy, it does have a weight that can be felt. Its finish is a cross between completely shiny and matte – which may make little to no sense, but I swear it’s true. It has to do with the way the aluminum is polished.
The Motion isn’t just any normal dildo, because it’s also interchangeable with the Alumina Flow and the Alumina Revolve. Which, of course, made me think it was awesome even more so than I did before.
I thought I would be irritated by o-ring in the middle that keeps the two sides of the Motion together nice a snug, but it actually added a lot of stimulation. I realize everyone’s vagina is totally different, but with my anatomy the o-ring barely brushes the opening of my vagina and adds a tickling sensation like you would get with a rabbit vibration that has rotating pearls inside.
If you asked me to state a downfall it would only be that after washing, you’ll want to keep it separated to let the two parts dry before screwing them back together. I don’t see this as being hard, but if you’re a person who can’t leave your sex toys out for a few minutes after use to dry it is something to think about before purchasing. It’s really not a big deal and if you didn’t have time, you could easily grab a hair dryer and dry it on cool for 1-2 minutes before putting it back together.
I really can’t tell you how much I love the Motion. It provides everything I want in a good dildo:
- G-spot stimulation (light)
- Stimulation of the first couple inches of the vagina
- Can be used with silicone or water-based lubes
- Has a weight that can be felt
- Is made out of high quality aeronautical grade aluminum
- Made in the USA from Tantus, who is a great company
If you want one of these (and really, why wouldn’t you?), head over to PinkCherry.com and snag one. Just click on the banner below to be taken to the site.
Thanks so much to Pink Cherry for sending me the Motion for review! I love it!
Review: Sqweel
Jul 10th
The Sqweel was hyped through the roof when it first came out, but I honestly was never too excited about it. The reviews were mixed and I couldn’t think of spinning flaps of TPR silicone actually feeling like oral sex. More like something trying to use my clit as a punching bag – yeah, not fun. Also, some people were saying you have to pry your labia open and cannot use a dildo because it blocks your vagina, so again, I was really skeptical. Who wants to pry your labia open and having your vagina saying, “HEY BITCH, WHERE BE THE DILDO?”
Fortunately, I really had none of those issues! Does it feel like oral sex? Not really unless you like fast licking that feels a little rough. Does it get me off? Yes.
Let me elaborate. I like a lot of suction during oral sex – constant suction basically, so I knew going in that this wasn’t going to feel like oral to me. However, it can feel vaguely like a tongue if you use a ton of lube – an overzealous tongue, but still a tongue. I really do mean a ton of lube. I used about 3-4 times as much lube as I use with a larger than average sized silicone dildo.1 Only then did it cease to feel like I was being flogged repeatedly in the clit with pieces of tire.
Epiphora complained of the greatest sin of all – vagina blockage.2 Impeding vaginal justice by blocking out dildos is just not something I like. However, I ended up using the Tantus Motion and had absolutely no issues. I figure I must use the Sqweel at a different angle than the majority of people who have reviewed this since I seem to be the only one that didn’t have this problem. Therefore, if you get the Sqweel, you may want to take some time fucking around with the angle before you get it right. It’s a pain, but if it prevents vagina blockage, isn’t it worth it?
My only other complaint about the Sqweel is that it’s kind of a bitch to clean. Taking it apart is okay, but getting it clean and trying to keep water away from the battery compartment takes a little effort. However, it should be said I’m used to throwing a dildo in the sink with soap, rinsing and that’s it. If you usually clean toys that require more than that, you shouldn’t really have an issue.
Overall I think the Sqweel is really innovative and interesting, but if you’re wanting something to feel like oral sex keep on waiting for the next invention.
Thanks so much to Pleasure Galaxie for letting me review the Squeel. If you look over in the sidebar I have a code for a discount if you want to head over and grab one! Click the banner below to get shopping!
Review: Luna Beads
Jun 14th
Luna Beads are my second attempt at using some kind of kegel exerciser. My first was the Fun Factory Teneo Uno, which sadly, just felt like a lump of boring plastic sitting in my vagina. Not fun or exciting at all.
After talking to a few people they all told me that Luna Beads are the best thing ever. I also liked that they are interchangable as the blue weighs more than the pink set, so as your muscles get more toned you can add more weight. Like a Bowflex for your vag. I was game. But, there was a small problem.
These definitely aren’t as boring as the others but they do present a slight problem. Let me tell you the tale of my first time using Luna Beads. I was walking around my house and I kept stopping to think, “God, do I have gas or something? This is not a good time to test a toy,” but then I kept walking around and soon figured out that I did not have gas. It was indeed, the Luna Beads rumbling my ass around. And no, I didn’t put them in my butt, but that’s the only place I could feel them. It was like constantly having a fart that wanted to come out and couldn’t.
Have I grossed you out yet?
Now I don’t hate Luna Beads. I really don’t. I just don’t think they work out well with me. They do give me something to grip when doing kegels, which I like, but the rumbling turns out to be more agitating than pleasant. If you like things like Fun Factory Smartballs these might be the next step for you are they are interchangeable and all over nicer looking.
Head over to PinkCherry.com! They’re having a 20% off sale with the code SUMMER until the 16th.
Review: Love to Love Oh Oui! Banana Vibrator
May 30th
She Vibe was kind enough to send me something to review and that something just happened to be the Love to Love Oh Oui!, which is definitely not something you see everyday. It’s a hot pink banana with a bullet inside it. Yep, a naner. I know shoving a naner in your vagina might weird you out and it kind of did me, too – Why did I take it? BECAUSE IT’S ANDY WARHOL INSPIRED, THAT’S WHY. The little pamphlet has really cute art on it.
Now that I’ve used excessive caps lock, I’ll tell you what I think of it. First of all, if you like and must have texture in your toys, walk away right now. This is completely smooth with not even a hint of texture. It’s also not too girthy, which combined with the lack of texture and the nice curve would make it great for someone new to penetration.
The packaging is just basic. It comes in a foam container with a big hot pink label. I discarded it since keeping a toy in foam seemed like a waste of space in my toy chest. I opted for a zip-lock bag home for it instead.
I do have one complaint – the bullet vibe. Firstly, it comes separately when you get the Oh Oui, but me being the idiot I am stuck it in all the way without any lube on it. We all know what happens next – IT’S STUCK. So if I never need to take it out and change the batteries I’m out of luck unless I can get someone with tiny fingers to get it out for me. Another thing about bullet vibes is that they just aren’t strong at all. If you’re looking for a vibrator to actually stimulate you to orgasm, look elsewhere. This is more just a light fluttering along the toy when it’s turned on.
However, I’m not a fan of internal vibrations and the Oh Oui as a dildo does just fine. It’s not going to make sparks fly and cause you to call everyone you know to state you just had an out of body experience, but its ability to target the g-spot is up there with other quality silicone toys like those from Tantus.
So there you have it, it’s a nice, simple silicone toy that would be great for people that are either beginners to penetration or those who don’t like texture. The main downfall is the bullet vibe, which I have never been a fan of, but I know some people genuinely like them.
Head over the She Vibe by clicking on the big banner below and check out their selection. They have some of the best prices on toys I have ever seen. The njoy Eleven for $200? Yep, they have it. They’re also super helpful people, so give them some business!
Thanks so much to all the lovely people at She Vibe for sending this over for review!
Review: Crystal Delights Plug
May 22nd
The CD Plug comes with a padded pouch, Boy Butter H2O lube, a glass charm attached to a business card & two Lifestyles condoms
The Crystal Delights plug is a collaboration between Virtually Adult and RubyGlass21. The most obvious feature is the giant crystal in the base of the plug. They currently are making various colors in both long and short lengths, so you can pick if you want a 1/2″ neck or a whopping 1-1/2″ neck. For those of you unfamiliar with RubyGlass21 – they are a small company in Oregon that makes really, really awesome toys. I have another piece from them that I really like and even though I got it a year ago, I still use it frequently.
I requested the longer version since I had trouble with another glass plug (Luxotiq) with a short neck staying in place. Then I read Britni’s reviews and had a major “Why did I pick the long one?” moment. However, after trying it out, I’m so, so glad I picked it.
If the neck were any shorter, the very wide base would have been painful, but because about 1/4″ of the neck could remain uninserted the base set right at the edge of my cheeks rather than far in between. This totally saved the CD plug from complete failure.
One thing that needs to be shown it just how pretty this plug really is, so I took a lot of pictures for you to see the size compared to my hand as well as the gem in the base:
In my hand. For reference, my hand measures a little over 7" from the base of my palm to my fingertips.
With flash so you can see how light reflects off the stone
Without flash
Overall, I really love the Crystal Delights plug, but if I could change one thing I would make the base slightly smaller so it sits between the cheeks instead of right outside. This would also make it less likely to work its way out if you’re walking around a lot. The good news is, unlike most plugs made of harder materials I’ve encountered, this one is pretty comfortable to sit down with. I had no problem sitting on the computer and talking to Epiphora after she demanded me to put the plug in and tell her if it was okay or not.
Basically, if you want some bling for your ass, here it is. You can get the longer or shorter version in a variety of colors from VirtuallyAdult.com. Also, I would like to mention that out of all the companies I’ve worked with, Shellie from Virtually Adult is awesome. She’s incredibly efficient as getting back to you quickly and is friendly as all get out. She’s great and I really encourage you to support her and her awesome company.
Thanks so much to Virtually Adult for sending me the Crystal Delights plug!
Review: Violet Moon Plug
May 14th
Note: This is my last review for EdenFantasys. The giftcards and the free toys are nice, sure, but I don’t feel ethically comfortable in supporting them and giving them more business. The links on old reviews will stay for reference, but banners will be removed. This doesn’t mean I’ll stop reviewing as I still have other companies I work with and love. If you’re out of the loop, go read AAG, Essin’ Em & Epiphora.
I forgot to take a picture before packing the Moon Plug, so just FYI, these toys aren't from Xhale!
The Violet Moon Plug is a glass plug from Xhale, a company based in Arizona. I requested the VMP for review because I wanted to see what the hype was all about. Everyone talks about how flawless and clear Xhale glass is. First things first: I’ve always been pretty happy with the other glass pieces I have, but if I could have something even nicer, why wouldn’t I want it? I was a little skeptical going into reviewing this one considering other people’s experiences with Xhale, but for the sake of comparison, I felt it could be okay.
The first thing I noticed about the Moon Plug is its base is smaller than the widest point, which concerned me. The neck is thin, so the flare is definitely there, but it’s just a little too small for my comfort. I want to get comfortable with it in, but I’m always worried that my ass is going to end up like, “NOM NOM, DO WANT TO EATZ IT.” I really, really don’t want to go to the ER to get a plug removed by a nurse. That would be the greatest level of embarrassment (unless the nurse also was into toys and understood my flare problem).
If you’re a beginner, you won’t want to start out with this one. It’s only 1 1/2″ in diameter, but the taper gets to the widest point very, very quickly. If you are a beginner and still want this plug, I would suggest warming up with a smaller plug for a few minutes before trying to insert it. Maybe something like the Fun Factory Bootie would be a good choice. There are also options that are the same diameter, but have more give, like the Tantus Ryder.
Overall, if you’re an “intermediate” user, I would say that this would be a good choice for you if you like the color and want glass. If you’re more advanced, there are other versions of the plug which are larger in size that can be found on Eden Fantasys as well as other websites.
Glass cleaning: Glass can be put in the dishwasher or boiled. I just wash mine with soap and water as I do not share my toys. If you’re sharing, you need to boil, wash in the dishwasher with no soap or wipe it down with a bleach solution and then rinse to avoid exchanging bacteria and STIs.
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| This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. | ||
